Low Self-Esteem

Barry is a computer scientist and University lecturer.  He sought therapy because of low self-worth and self-esteem.  He had very little social life, and in particular was hoping that, by addressing these problems he would be able to seek a relationship with a woman– something he had never had.  He presented as awkward and anxious, and said that these problems had been an issue for him since he was in his early teens.  His clothes were ill-fitting, and ill-chosen– nothing matched with anything else, as though he had been clothed entirely from the left-overs from a jumble sale.

In the time-limited Provocative Therapy session, the therapist began by drawing attention to his style of dress.  With a jocular, 'kidding' manner, the therapist urged the client to consider ever stranger images– of himself dressing like Sherlock Holmes, complete with deerstalker and pipe, and of himself standing at the bus stop dressed like Dracula and drinking blood– together with the likely responses of surprise, amazement and shock from passers-by.  The therapist went on to verbally paint increasingly melodramatic pictures of the responses a person might expect if they chose to flout convention to the extreme. It was clear that the client found the zany imagery hilariously funny, and also disturbing. 

At the end of the session, the client made the decision that he would visit a gent's outfitters, and get measured up for some well-fitted clothing. 

Some weeks later, client and therapist met again.  Barry looked completely different.  He was well-dressed, in stylish and tasteful clothing which flattered to his slight form.  He also spoke and behaved differently, with a new ease and self-assurance which was reflected in his movements and posture.  He was smiling and conversing easily, meeting the eyes of the therapist with confidence.

He told the therapist with evident satisfaction that he found he was getting different responses from other people, and that socialising was now a pleasure for him.  He was not yet in a relationship, but was now quite sure that he soon would be.

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